So Proud...

It wasn't the little nudge or the gentle hint - it was more the two-handed push with the foot in the back that got me back to work.

I mean – who are we kidding...I was completely in Shelly's way being home all last year.  Either that or Shelly was just feeling threatened by my mad “Mom skills”. Make beds – check.  Make breakfast – check.  Put the needs of the kids over my own – hmm…maybe some men just shouldn’t be Moms.

Poor kids, too...nag about homework, nag about doing chores and being “productive”.  Nag about rubbing my feet and filing my corns…no tears were shed on my way out.

Being gone most of the day, I would expect coming home that the kids would be tackling me when I walk in the door each night – hugs and kisses galore. But really, at their ages, that ship has sailed.  Pretty soon, we will be down to polite acknowledgements and handshakes.  Avery has officially told me that she no longer accepts kisses.  Jesse won’t be far behind. Jake is a bit better – with him, at least I get high 5’s and bro’ hugs. 

I am thinking about undoing the thing I had soldered shut after Jesse was born...

Speaking of Jake - he somehow managed to get MORE invisible this year. So, other than some damage to the wallet and wear on the tires, there is really no effort required on our part.  He is almost completely self sufficient.  Life for him has come down to two things – playing guitar and causing damage.  Fortunately, the “damage” part is mostly virtual (but not completely).

You see, he signed himself up to learn Kenpo (a form of martial arts) - it's him, a couple of other teenagers and then a whole bunch of active police officers.

The first time I dropped him off, the head instructor said - don't worry, this is purely for self-defense. I thought to myself – How perfect! With three little sisters, this will come in handy. So when I came back after the class, I asked if Jake had learned to defend himself.  The instructor’s response was lightning quick, "Your kid’s a natural! Jake, show your dad how you can break his femur in three different places."

The virtual damage is his XBOX.  He plays these splendid video games, too, with titles like, "Die Mutant, Zombie Baby, Die!" and "Halo XXIV - Another Return of the Alien Death Squadron."

So proud...

The great thing about having a fourteen year old is the (not so) free babysitting.   Although, we may consider going back to the licensed professionals.  You see, every time we call to check in, the conversation goes something like this.

Shelly: "How are the girls?"… Jake: "Dunno...'".
Shelly: "What are the girls doing?"… Jake: "Dunno...."
Shelly: "Where are they?"…   Jake: "Who?"
 
As for the girls, I quiver with fear.  Dating will start in a mere nine years (age twenty, right?).  Peyton is on the verge of teenagerhood and Shelly and I are handling it quite differently.  While Shelly is pushing her in, I am trying to keep her out.  Shelly caved recently and bought Pey a whole array of makeup.  Glosses, eye junk, blush…the works.  They were both so giddy about it.  Oddly, it has all “somehow” disappeared.  Can’t seem to find those new miniskirts or tight tees either.  Simultaneously, Jake has now been registered for two-a-days at Kenpo.  He also has a private nunchuck tutor.

Peyton has developed her own unique set of interests.  They basically fall into three categories - sports, vampires and peace signs.  Or put differently – anything to do with soccer, anything to do with the movie “Twilight” and well, yes – anything to do with peace signs.  Of course, tormenting her sisters can be fun, too.

Poor Avery…she really is a middle child - stuck between a younger sister that totally adores her and an older sister that wants to staple her mouth shut. She manages it all well, though. On one end, she coddles Jesse - especially when Shelly and I are in sight to appreciate it.  On the other end, she makes every effort to provoke Peyton into loud recklessness. Then she assumes the role of helpless victim when the process starts to unfold. Really masterful stuff. This has to be a hereditary skill 'cause I lived to get my brothers in trouble.

She and Jesse love to play together.  Their favorite activity - gymnastics off the furniture.  Shelly walked in one day as Avery was spotting Jesse on a double back dismount from the arm of the sofa.  I am sure Jesse would have stuck the landing if her forehead didn’t get in the way,.

So proud….

How is it that such a little person like Jesse can have such an enormous attitude. There is really no way to describe it - you just have to experience her for yourself. Right now for instance, she is actively confessing her sins.  Nearly every sentence starts with, "Promise you won't be mad when I tell you…". 

Not every sin requires a confession, of course.  Pretty much whatever goes through her mind gets blurted out of her mouth.  Like when she changed the channel on Shelly because Shelly was watching “a crappy show". (I thought so, too, by the way…).

Jesse pointed out at dinner one night that Mom is the oldest and therefore the boss of everything. Dad is the boss of nothing but his computer.

She has her sweet moments, too.  Like when Shelly was driving Jesse and a friend home from school. Jesse mentioned that she wants to be a Mom when she grows up. Then she said, "no wait, can you drive a car when you're a dentist? Yes? In that case, I'm going to be a dentist!"

Or on vacation when I asked her if she wanted to go on one of the rides. Her response was, "Daaaad - I've been DYING to! I thought you would never ask."
 
You can’t talk about sweet without mentioning the “boys” - Sam and Tahoe.  Sadly, we had to put Sam down due to cancer this summer.  Great guy – he was only two and we miss him terribly.

Fortunately, Tahoe is still with us.  He is also a great guy...and still a total meathead.  (But he's OUR meathead).  Without Sam around to lick and wrestle, he has taken to his only other hobby - eating.

And man, can he eat!  He does not have much of a discerning palate either. He seems to favor pebbles, and paper products. He has two basic misconceptions.  One, if it comes from your own body, then it must be organic.  And two, the trash bin is a food dish.  Actually, that one is a pretty easy mistake given that it is at eye level.  He prefers the garbage in the bathroom because there is an enormous water dish close by to wash the food down. 

 
What’s amazing is the oinker can barely make it up the stairs for bed, but somehow he can hop on the table every night when dinner is being served. 

So, the downside to visiting us is that we now only serve drinks to our guests because in Tahoe’s mind, no self respecting dog would ever share his hard earned food.  The upshot, though, is that you no longer need to tiptoe across the lawn – Tahoe has ensured that it is mostly clear of landmines.  

Enjoy your holidays! 

Jon, Shelly, Jake, Peyton, Avery, Jesse and Tahoe