-Michael Corleonne
Shelly just sort of stumbled on it one day – buried deep within the foot-high pile of schoolbooks and dirty college sweatshirts lining the bedroom floor. I doubt she even realized what it was at first. But once she did, I am sure it rocked her to the core. Yes, our worst fears were finally confirmed.
A full-blown escape plan!
Sure, Jesse had joked about breaking out over the years, but we figured it was just empty blather. She knows how much we depend on her. Anyone could see that we were clinging on to parenthood with the very tips of our fingernails here after the other three took off on us. Shelly won’t make it a week alone in the house with me. Hell – I can barely make it a week alone with me!
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It
was probably just blissful ignorance on our part. We knew this day was bound to
come. It probably should have been obvious, too…what with all the college
applications she sent out and what not. Shelly
had actually begun to embrace the idea after the acceptance letter to Indiana
University came in. Avery graduates next spring from IU with her degree in
Elementary Education, so, this would allow Shelly an additional three years of
unfettered campus access, reliving her glory days as a teenage co-ed.
But
alas, it was not to be. Jesse chose the University of Wisconsin. Kind of a slap
in the face to us since Wisco had already lured Peyton away from IU a few years
earlier. The upside, of course, is that with Petyon still living in Madison, we
have a place to stay when Shelly decides to go co-ed on a new campus.
Besides
- maybe we are looking at all this the wrong way. Maybe this is a good thing. After
all, with Jesse gone, we are finally done with parenthood. No more being
tethered to kids every week, following them around from one activity to
another. No more late-night worries when they haven’t checked in by 9pm,
11pm 1am sharp. No more random requests for money or to use the car.
Getting to focus on our own stuff for the first time in nearly three decades.
We
had a nice run as parents, time to move on.
IT’S A BOY!!
We
finally wrapped our heads around the benefits of being “free birds” when it
happened. Out of nowhere, we went and had another kid. His name is Joe,
and he is very handsome. He came out on the larger side (5’10” and 180lbs). But
he is all ours!!
Well…actually,
he’s all Peyton’s. That’s right – our innocent, magnanimous, little 24-year-old
daughter went out and got herself engaged.
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Quote This!
Speaking
of marriage – we dug up some past comments on the subject that you might
appreciate (with
a few comments about family and careers sprinkled in, as well):
"I’m not sure marriage is for me.
It doesn’t look all that fun.” (Jake – age 8)
"I’m not sure marriage is for me. It doesn’t look all that fun.” (Jake – age 27)
"So, my name’s going to be Peyton Feinstein??” (Peyton – age 7 upon learning the meaning of “maiden name”)
“I still can’t decide on a major. Can’t
I just be a trophy wife? Mom makes it look so easy!” (Peyton – age 20)
“Finished my homework, Dad. Now –
where do you keep your wallet?” (Avery
– age 10)
“I attended all my classes this month, Dad. You still have my Venmo, right?”
(Avery – age 21)
“Wait. Can you be a dentist and a mom? Really?? Then I’m going
to be a dentist!!” (Jesse – age 4)
"My favorite subject? All
of them – well, except math, English, science, and history, of course.” (Jesse – age 18)
“Avery’s my favorite. She annoys me the least.” (Jake
– age 15)
“Cooper and Maggie are
my favorites. They annoy me the least.” (Shelly – daily since we began empty-nesting*)
Here’s to enjoying your kids in 2023! They are great (in
moderation, of course).
Happy holidays!
JD, Shelly, Jake, Peyton, Avery, Jesse, and the new guy (Joe)
*Totally made
this one up. Shelly would never say that her dogs annoy her.
