Just Can't Seem to Get it Right...

Behind Every Angry Woman, Stands a Man Who

Has Absolutely No Idea What He Did Wrong

- Random Facebook Meme

I was wrong.

Correction: She was right, I was wrong. Again.

Whew! Feels good to get that off my chest. Call it pride. Call it ego. Call it hubris. Doesn't matter. I finally manned up and admitted it.

Okay…if I’m being totally honest - maybe I am not really the sad victim I like to portray.  There is some small chance that even Mother Teresa would tire of my nonsense if she had to live with it for more than a couple of decades. If anyone is on their way to sainthood, it’s Shelly. So, yes – it’s me, not her.

However, on those rare occasions that it is actually her and not me…well, I’ve come to accept that there is an order in nature and no amount of willful stubbornness on my part will ever change that.

For instance, take the “double standard.” I get it. Not everything in a marriage is equal. It’s the part about logic being irrelevant that I have always had a tough time dealing with.

But it finally hit me - and all it took was a single tube of toothpaste. Yes, that’s right toothpaste – which she found sitting on my bathroom vanity a few days in a row (twelve days, actually).  Literally, it was the only thing on my bathroom vanity.  When I politely – and ever so meekly, approached her about the eyeliner, blow dryer, scrunchies, elegantly framed silhouette of George Clooney, two empty tubes of toothpaste and crumpled receipt on her own vanity, she said in that sweet voice I fell in love with so many years ago to, “WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN #$%@ STUFF” and then stormed off to watch reruns of E/R on Netflix.

Simple misunderstanding.